Hmmm. 2025, huh… Strange year. Very Cool.

I have once again found myself not accomplishing much in the way of getting closer to independence. Off the top of my head, the year's most notable events would be Wastelisp Kings and my new computer. I also practiced a lot of 3D; not a lot of illustration, though.

Around the beginning of the year was the passing of David Lynch; me and a group of friends watched through his filmography in his honor. This was a good experience. Twin Peaks was as good as they said it would be. I liked Dale Cooper. One of my dad's friends sounds a fucking lot like David Lynch himself. We developed into a more comprehensive film club afterwards, which ended up proving very culturally educational for me. Recently, it appears that the group is experiencing friction, which is a shame. It might be recovering, though.

As a whole, I find that the year sees me once again reaching new lows. I suppose I've started writing again to at least some degree; until recently, I had ceased to even come up with original characters of any sort. Mostly the characters I have made are smutty in nature to at least some degree.

I also smoked weed for real for the first time. I don't think I particularly enjoy being stoned. I did somewhat enjoy the feel of smoking; the first time I tried, it appears I fucked up and didn't inhale hard enough. The taste and mouthfeel of smoke stayed in my mouth for a while afterwards; it felt bizarre how dry my throat felt for that duration. As a whole, I've found myself much more curious about Cigars. Like many people, I would prefer to experience luxury, in this case referring to Cuban Cigars. I suspect obtaining such goods would prove perhaps too difficult to be feasible for me easily anytime soon. Perhaps when I next find myself in Europe.

One of my resolutions at the beginning of the year was to elaborate on my website; it appears I have not done so whatsoever. I had always intended for the site to act as a replacement for my Twitter accounts, and as I write this, it is apparent to me that the website once again finds itself imploding, but only time will tell whether it is severe enough to serve as a proper kick in the ass to do my website.

I've neglected to properly adopt a sense of responsibility yet another year. I have not really driven much so my learner's permit remains. I suppose I have gotten into a better habit of washing the dishes. I remain, by most standards, a fairly undisciplined person in spite of the philosophies I idealize. It'll be 5 years soon that I've been a NEET; I graduated in april or may or so of 2021. I cannot help but wonder how terribly I've stunted myself in the past few years…

I remain skilled in programming and in 3D modeling, but it is the discipline I lack that makes me truly hesitant to begin making money off of commission work. It is uncommon that I can prove to work on even my own projects, let alone work on what another has requested of me.

Despite this, I find myself clinging to some things for a sense of superiority; perhaps out of a mental sense of necessity. I have borne witness to a sense of mild illiteracy amongst those of my generation, yet I cannot truly say that it is their own fault. To begin with, I must call into question whether an advanced sense of literacy has ever been widespread amongst Americans; but more than anything, I can say with confidence that it is the education system that has failed this generation. I do not believe my knowledge on the matter is sufficient enough to elaborate in detail, but by far the easiest thing to point towards is "no child left behind."

My remarkable patience with modern technology appears to be somewhat of a virtue as well, even if there remains multiple decisions in software that infuriate me to no end. Blender is such a fucking terrible piece of software. It is a tragedy that it is the best option that does not carry a hefty price tag. At some point in the year, I had stumbled upon a work-in-progress illustration program that had seemed promising with regards to features that I have desired for a long time, but in my foolishness, I have not saved it's name. Clip Studio Paint is another piece of software that comes disappointingly close to what I seek; at times I find myself considering reverse engineering it. But, I believe that ultimately, it will prove a more worthwhile endeavor to write my own illustration software entirely. I suspect this hypothetical "Liz Paint" would prove esoteric for most.

One thing that seems apparent is that I have not been playing video games much at all. The easiest thing to say is that I am horribly depressed, but I don't think that answer satisfies me. To some degree, I think I have begun to perceive a certain predictability within the media I see that has discouraged me, but I feel that it is obvious that I have not seen everything and that the idea is a fallacy of thinking. At times, I find myself questioning the vapidity of such things; perhaps out of a mistaken sense of

With all of this in mind, Happy New Year, to anyone who has taken the time to read this. It is apparent to me that it hasn't really been a good 2025 for most people, but like many others, I hope for a better 2026 – for myself and others. In the coming year, I of course strive for my usual goals in self improvement, but in addition, I think I would like to seriously sit down and try to be able to read books again. Here's to another year.